Baggage 2

The previous post should have been saved as a draft before posting because I left out a couple of things.  In order to feel more at home, I brought a couple of my favorite tea cups/mugs and insulated travel cup.  In my room I have displayed some cards and notes of encouragement received from family and friends.  I keep my favorite treat on hand, Hershey's dark chocolate kisses, and have other favorite food available.  Yesterday I brought back some notecards and stamps so I can write to friends the old-fashioned way.

Randy told me about a friend of a friend who also travels to care for a grandchild each week, from Sacramento to Reno.  She finds it hard to live in someone else's house; I wonder if she is with her daughter or her son.  That might make a difference.  Or maybe she just misses being able to do things her own way.

Baggage

 People asked me what I would take with me on this "move" to Phoenix.  Clothes--both long- and short-sleeved shirts, jeans and shorts, sandals, walking shoes, sweater, sweatshirt (not yet worn), pj's, robe, slippers, undies and socks for about a week.  I have a full set of toiletries that I just leave here, making my flights much simpler.  Supplies of calcium tablets and Tylenol also came.  When I return here after being in Alameda, I've been wearing the same pants but a different shirt.  I brought my knitting (I'm making a pair of socks), fabric scraps to begin a quilt, choir music to practice, my French horn mouthpiece and some music to use with E's horn (not used yet), and my iPad for email, Words with Friends, and such.  I have crossword puzzles and sudoku, my Bible, and a notebook to journal in.  With my Alameda Free Library card I am able to check out e-books, and E has a nice collection of books I haven't read.  In my room is a TV with access to Netflix streaming for TV and movies.  If I need anything, there's a Target a couple of blocks away, as well as a CVS.

So far I haven't missed having anything.  While it might be a nuisance to bring additional big items from home, small things are easy to fit in the messenger bag I travel with, which has numerous pockets.

To nap or not to nap

Yesterday was one of those days when little e didn't want to nap, or at least not for more than 45 minutes at a time.  At one point she was asleep in my arms, and I was praying for her and her parents.  Then the alarm on my phone sounded, reminding me to give her the 2:00 medicine.  K can do this without waking her; I can't.  We'll see how today goes.

Routine

It seems like those days in the hospital haven't made a lot of difference as far as E's routine goes.  She's eating and sleeping about the same as before.  When I went to get her after her last nap, she had managed to turn 90 degrees and was lying across the crib.  Something new almost every day!

I wish I could remember more about my early days as a mother.  I'm sure I talked a lot to our girls and read to them, but I don't recall an emphasis on "tummy time."  So far I am enjoying the challenge of figuring out what e needs and how to soothe her.  We have conversations and play with her toys.  And of course we read and sing.  

Today I got out E's sewing machine and began to make the blocks for Dancing Nine-Patch, a baby quilt.  And I did my laundry (clothes and bedding).

Home!

We just brought little e home from the hospital.  She is taking bottles easily, and soon her mom will try nursing her.  Doctor said cough will probably linger and gave suggestions for the next few days.  It's certainly an answer to prayer.  Thanks to all of you who held her in your thoughts and prayers.

I feel like I'm getting an insider's look at this little family, and I like what I see.

Getting better

Little e is still in the hospital, but she is improving.  It looks like she will stay till Monday or Tuesday.  She must be able to eat and to breathe smoothly without the oxygen feed.  Suctioning continues, and her lungs are clearer as a result.  K uses his phone to play the lullaby music she hears at home when it's nap time, and we all talk to her.  It is difficult to pick her up with the various tubes connecting her to monitors and such.  The care staff at Cardon Children's Hospital are kind and friendly.

I've had a busy day here at home, and tomorrow will also be full before I fly back.  But Randy and I took a nice walk, and he encouraged me to remember we are in a period of transition, learning how this new life will work.  While he did do laundry this week, he didn't get to the grocery store so he's running low on bread and milk.  His meal plan seems to be working fine, fixing a large batch of beans for soup every few days.

Breathing

Today did not go as planned.  Instead of sewing or practicing, I spent the day at the hospital.  K, E and I took little e to the ER before 8 this morning, where she was diagnosed with bronchiolitis and RSV then admitted to the hospital for at least 24 hours observation.  Her parents are staying with her overnight, but I came back to the house to take care of the dog.  It is so hard to hear a baby struggle to breathe.  But it wasn't all tears.  e did smile sometimes, though not so much while the nurse suctioned her nasal passages.  Ironically, when E was 4 months old, she also spent a few days in the hospital with bronchiolitis.

We take breathing for granted sometimes, but it doesn't take much to interrupt it.  A microscopic virus can have serious consequences.

Silence

I've begun reading a book about the spiritual disciplines of solitude and silence.  An excerpt-- "I believe silence is the most challenging, the most needed and the least experienced spiritual discipline among evangelical Christians today.  It is much easier to talk about it and read about it than to actually become quiet."  In the past, maybe 15 years ago, I was able to spend some time praying and reading Scripture early each morning after Sarah went to school.  But then that schedule changed and I got out of the habit, and I have felt dry or even, as one song puts it, calloused to God's voice.  In these hours I have for myself while e sleeps, I desire to read this book and practice the very specific steps Ruth Barton suggests.

Home!

Friday night my flight to Oakland was delayed nearly two hours, so instead of getting home at 10:30 it was after midnight.  But finally I made it.  Randy had a vase of my favorite irises waiting.  What a sweetie!  Saturday morning I practiced organ.  Linda was weeding in the front yard (she's the pastor's wife, they live next-door to the church), heard me, and came in to chat.  She told me about the somewhat improvised service when the substitute pianist didn't show up.  Randy and I took a walk in the afternoon, then Anita and Geoff met us for dinner at C'era una Volta, where we enjoyed a delicious meal, good conversation and the live music of Jim Passard and the Lost Cats.  Sunday morning at church people greeted me warmly, asking how the baby is.  Randy did not stay for lunch in Berkeley but came home to eat with me; he wanted to make roasted cauliflower and chard pizza, one of our favorites, while I was there to advise.  He reported that many of our friends asked how things were going.  I'm glad we have a support network.  My return flight was also delayed a bit, but here I am, back in Phoenix.

Linda asked what I miss most.  Besides Randy, I think I would have to say my piano.  The weather isn't an issue...yet!  While I do have a keyboard to play, it just isn't the same.  As time goes by I may notice other things.  Since I'm only watching the baby and not running a household (as I did when our children were little), I don't have to worry about fitting in trips to the grocery store or doctor's office or such, while still maintaining a schedule.  

I hear baby noises...to work!

Dinner out

Last night E and K went to a friend's birthday dinner, so my afternoon was a bit different.  E finished work about 4:30, then took the baby to give me free time before they left.  I took a short walk; it seemed to grow warmer the longer I was out, so the expected 2 miles became just one.  Then I had some supper and practiced before receiving a well-fed, happy, calm baby about 6:45.  This was my first time to put e down for the night, but everything went smoothly, and she was asleep by 8, her normal time.  Her folks returned about 9:30, having enjoyed the time out with friends.  They have done this maybe 3 times since e was born, and I look forward to providing this opportunity for them occasionally in the coming weeks.

My days

Yesterday we followed the schedule pretty well.  Little e went to sleep about 8AM, and I finished cutting my scraps into usable sizes (squares of 1 1/2, 2, 2 1/2, and 3 1/2 inches, then little logs 1 1/2 by 2 1/2 inches).  She woke up, took a bottle, then we played till about 11:15 and she went back to bed.  I ate lunch and finished transcribing a Swedish hymn from open score into a form I could play on the organ.  Then it was baby time again, bottle and play till around 3:30, then sleep.  During my third free time I read Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton.  More about that later.  Then E was done with work and I was officially off duty, though I held the baby while supper was prepared.

So for a while I expect to have 3 periods of "you" time, as the EASY plan allots.

Like butter

This morning K and E both went to work, so Dick and I watched the baby.  K returned before noon to take his dad to a spring training game, so I was alone with Little e for several hours.  She took her bottles calmly and slept when placed in her crib.  We played in her "jungle," a plastic mat with several small toy animals dangling from two arches.  What fun to see her swipe at them and sometimes even grab hold.  We did tummy time, when I encourage her to lift her head up a bit.  And when she looks at me and smiles or coos, I just melt.

Home alone

Yesterday we had a houseful!  K's sister and her 2 year old arrived with K's  dad, his brother and  girlfriend Friday evening.  All but his dad, Dick, stayed in the nearby Holiday Inn; Dick slept on the couch since I'm in the guest room.  We all just hung out yesterday, talking, eating, passing around the baby, hunting for diamonds in the backyard (that was little Vivian with her grandpa).  Maegan and Clay made their famous Wapak spaghetti, an old family recipe from their dad's home in Wapakoneta, Ohio, and roasted vegetables.  After we feasted, Meagan's husband arrived from Palm Springs.  About 9 people returned to the motel, though I discovered this morning that Clay returned and played Cribbage with his dad till 3 AM.

This morning everyone else went to the Renaissance Fair about 45 minutes away.  I took a walk then set up the keyboard and played the Hayes Requiem while listening to the CD.  There's a lot of rubato!  I wanted to have some time alone.  After posting this I have a couple of other things planned.  

K will be off work tomorrow, but E will go to her office.  So my first day alone with little e will be Tuesday.  I think I'm about ready.  I have a new app on my iPad called iBaby Feed, which E uses to track Little E's feeding.  We're synched, so when either of us enters data the other one sees it too.  Very handy!  These first few days have been good, an opportunity for me to review infant care and for E to begin letting go.  

EASY

Yesterday's test went smoothly.  The technician was very skilled, apparently had worked with infants.  Little e fell asleep in the car and transitioned to her crib.  E gave me a "schedule" titled EASY, an acronym for eat, activity time, sleep, you (meaning the caregiver), with suggested times for each.  We'll see.  Schedules on paper are one thing, in reality another.

K took today off; some of his family arrives this afternoon.  E is about to leave, to meet up with a friend and go to a spring training game.  I will have to feel my way, to see if perhaps K wants to take care of the baby all day.

I finished reading Water for  Elephants  last night.  I enjoyed it a lot.  Characters were believable, as was the description of life in a traveling circus and in general during the Great Depression.

changing of the guard

Today we began to figure out what a day will look like when E is back at work.  I gave little e 2 bottles of breast milk this afternoon, which she accepted pretty well.  I spent time on the floor with her, helping her reach for toys and turn her head to both sides.  The physical therapist came and was pleased with the baby's progress.  Tomorrow we leave about 6:15 AM to go to the hospital for an EEG.  That may be a challenge, since it requires e to sleep for part of the test.  And how can you guarantee that?

The adventure begins

Here I am, sitting at Emily and Kyle's (E and K) after supper, while they are upstairs putting little e to bed.  Through the baby monitor I hear their low voices and K strumming his guitar.  Very peaceful.

checked off

Last night my piano students gave their "big" recital, held at a local church with a lovely grand piano up on a platform.  It makes parents happy to see their children perform in such an elegant setting.  Everyone played well, even the two little boys who were first-timers.  So this is another item from my list that I checked off.  I've also completed most of their progress reports and will get the last ones in the mail tomorrow.

This afternoon I put in a load of laundry, then began putting things into a suitcase.  I leave Tuesday morning.