Squeals

Today has been good.  E passed e to me about 7:30 this morning, I put her in the stroller and we took a mile and a half walk along the green belt nearby.  We heard birds, smelled freshly cut grass, felt a gentle breeze and the sun.  After getting home we played a bit then e slept and I practiced some music for Sunday.  She woke about 10, took her bottle, and helped me with my laundry before we played again.  I got out a new toy for her, one with wooden beads that slide along a track that she can play with while sitting up, supported.  Back to sleep about 11:40, so I ate my lunch, before she woke up about 12:20.  Another bottle then playtime and a trip to Safeway with E, who's working from home today.  Back home again, I laid on the floor with her, on my back like she was, and looked over at her and tried to imitate her sounds and gestures.  Remember that old Harpo Marx routine with Lucy?  Of course I'm a lot bigger than e so it wasn't exactly the same but it was a lot of fun!  We spent at least 10 minutes just looking at each other, faces about a foot apart, maybe closer.  Now she's napping again and I'm blogging.  When she wakes she'll get another bottle.

Little e has found a new pitch for her voice, very high and squeaky.  It's kind of fun but intense if I'm holding her up on my shoulder.  One of the best ways to calm her is to sing.  It doesn't seem to matter what kind of song.  We do "The Ants Go Marching" a lot, "Hush Little Baby," and some old Raffi songs I used to sing with my girls.  When she was just a few days old a music box in her bassinet soothed her with strains of Bach and Chopin.  I think music will be a part of her life.

She's waking up...back to work!

Hands up!

Yesterday I saw e, while lying on her back, raise both arms to the ceiling for the first time.  And she picked up her rattle with her right hand and shook it back and forth for a minute or more.  Every day she seems stronger, able to support her head better.  Tummy time helps with that, strengthens her neck and core muscles.  What fun to see her do new things.

I've read HOW many books?

For several years now I've kept a list of the books I read, thanks to Linda's suggestion.  I like to include a brief summary of the plot then my opinion of the book.  In January Linda and I exchange lists, and we each get some new ideas for what to read. Yesterday I noticed I've read 21 books since I arrived in Phoenix on March 3.  What?  How can that be?  Well, each week I spend 4 hours in a plane, 1-3 hours sitting in an airport, and I usually read while eating breakfast and lunch.  At home I would read the SF Chronicle with my cereal but here it's a book.  So perhaps it's not so strange after all.  Most of my selections are fiction, often mysteries, and they go pretty fast.

This morning I started Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen.  I do not think this one will go fast.

At home

The weekend at home was good.  My flight was delayed just a bit but I was still home by 9 or so.  A bouquet of irises was waiting for me, compliments of my sweetie.  Saturday Randy went with me to practice organ, taking a book to read.  As I played the pieces for Sunday and planned for the next couple of weeks, I could hear the singers in fellowship hall, a group of sacred harp enthusiasts.  They come from all over the Bay Area to sing shaped-note music, unaccompanied.  They arrange themselves by voice part, each part forming one side of a square and facing the center.  It was a rich, full sound.  We could have joined in, but there were other things to do, like take a walk.

Sunday morning three young people, around 12 or 13 years old, were confirmed; another name for this process is affirmation of baptism.  They went through a year or more of classes with the pastor and youth pastor, studying what it means to be a Christian and Lutheran, church history, various things.  They helped lead worship yesterday by reading Scripture, praying, giving the sermon (acting out the story of Peter and John healing the beggar at the temple gate), assisting in communion.  What a great way to be welcomed into the next stage of their faith.

Randy and I walked over to La Penca Azul for lunch, then I emailed Jessica the titles of upcoming preludes and postludes for the bulletins.  We left for the airport about 3:45; my flight was at 5 and was on time.  I was at E and K's by 7:30, which is better, in my opinion, than arriving at 10 or 11.

Less than 48 hours at home, but filled with goodness.

So far, so good

Thursday we saw the pediatric neurologist at Phoenix Children's Hospital.  He asked us questions about e's behaviors, tested some of her reflexes, explained EEG results, and concluded that she looks good.  But we all know she's not out of the woods yet.  We're still waiting to see how she hits the developmental milestones coming up.  Almost every day I can see growth as she lifts her head while on her tummy, as she uses her hands to hold a toy, as she scoots on her back.  We return to this doctor in three months.

This week

Last Friday I took an earlier flight, 5:55, arriving home about 8, which was good.  Saturday I had my hair cut before practicing organ.  After lunch Randy and I went to Safeway to shop, then I put a pork roast in the oven for pulled pork later.  We had thought Sarah and Erik were spending the night with us after attending a wedding in Woodside, but they decided to come to Alameda Sunday afternoon instead.  So we spent the afternoon with them, then I left on a 5:00 flight.  The Southwest schedule has changed recently, so the nonstop flights are either 5:00 PM, 8:00, or 10.   The 8:00 is ok says E, but by the time we get back to the house and settle in it's nearly 11.  So...leave Randy sooner or arrive later at E's, hard choice.  Taking the earlier flight on Friday will compensate a bit, so that's how we booked the tickets for May.

My right thumb feels better now.  I've adapted certain movements, such as pulling up my socks with two fingers and avoiding the thumb, and using my left hand for some things.  But I'm sure it will continue to be an issue.

Tomorrow e sees the neurologist, a makeup appointment for the one missed last month when she was in the hospital with the respiratory virus.  K's mom is driving out today from SoCal to take the appointment with us.  Her medical background provides added insight, and K and E appreciate her presence for these meetings.

Little e will have two grandmas here for a couple of days.  I may need to watch myself while she's here, make sure she gets baby time too.  Sometimes I try to put myself in Jonnie's shoes;  I'm sure she's glad I am able to care for e, but she probably envies me a tiny bit.  She has another granddaughter who's almost three and lives less than an hour away from her; they see each other fairly often.  But e is her son's first child, and seeing him with a baby must be very, very special to her, as it is for me and E.

Smarty pants!

Our e is so clever!  She now seems to know that if she is in her sleep sack and the lullaby music is playing and I'm walking around her room holding her, then it must be nap time and she fusses, even if she's been yawning.  If I take her out into the hallway, the fussing stops almost immediately when we cross the threshold of her room.  What a baby!  But we keep walking and before long she settles and allows me to place her in her crib.

I look forward to being home tonight.  It feels like I've been away a long time.

Silence 2

Back on March 16 I mentioned reading Invitation to Solitude and Silence by Ruth Haley Barton, in which she discusses how she was drawn into these two spiritual disciplines, then provides specific practices the reader can follow to pursue solitude and silence also.  The first step, after determining your desire to be in God's presence, is to sit quietly and let those distractions/thoughts/whatever just float across your mind then return to your simple prayer.  I sit upright in my chair, feet flat on the floor, hands open on my lap with palms up, timer set for 10 minutes, take a couple of deep breaths, and pray "Lord, have mercy" several times.  When distractions enter my mind I try to let them just float away.  I'm not trying to do anything, just to be available to hear God's voice.  When the timer sounds I pray then sometimes read or re-read a chapter in Barton's book.

You may ask, "Is it working?"  That is a good question.  I think I am better able to be quiet for a few seconds, maybe even a minute or two, but words are such a big part of my life from talking to writing to reading to playing Scrabble or doing crossword puzzles that just sitting and listening is very difficult!  But I believe God has given me this desire to seek him, and he will honor it.

Ups and down

Today marks the beginning of my seventh week in Phoenix.  Wow!  My first stay was 11 days, and the current stay is 12; I've made 4 round trips thus far.  Most days I feel great and enjoy spending my time this way.  But yesterday...

It started happily.  Little e celebrated her four-month birthday with a photo shoot.  E tried 3 or 4 outfits on e and used several backgrounds before finding the best combination to mark this day.  She took many shots, then picked the best to email/text to family.   Little e and I took a walk, played a bit, then she napped.  My right hand ached so I didn't want to pick her up too much; a walk is a great way to spend time in those conditions.  After lunch, while e slept, I made a cup of tea and managed to spill the whole thing on the table, wetting some of my music, E's table runner, some papers, and a small spot on the rug.  By the time I had cleaned that up, e woke and needed attention.  Later as she played in her "jungle" I sat on the floor beside her and felt so tired, with my achy hand and sleepy eyes.  What was I doing here, thinking I could take care of a baby?  I thought of calling Randy but knew he was frustrated with his work and didn't want to add to his load.  So I sat with e and soon her cheeriness flowed into me, and the day felt much brighter.  When E finished work we 3 girls made a Target run, and I made one of my favorite casseroles for supper.  After e went to bed, E and I booked my flights through May, then discussed briefly questions one should ask and deal with concerning retirement, advanced health care directives, guardians for children.  (By the way, K is in Charlotte for a few days on business.)

Today e had her 4-month well-baby checkup and passed with flying colors.  She had 4 shots, but so far the immunizations have not caused any problems.  The heart bandaids on her chubby thighs are so cute.  And I feel fine.  My hand is better; Motrin is working better than arthritis Tylenol.

Just because I'm in the right place doesn't mean every day is smooth sailing.

Not quite a day off

Since I did not return home this weekend, I offered to watch e so her parents could go out to a movie then to lunch.  They appreciated the outing.  During e's naps I was able to finish my quilt top.  The pattern is called Dancing Nines; it has 16 blocks, each one with 4 nine-patches made of 2-inch squares of various colors and a medium blue sashing.  A narrow yellow border surrounds these bloaks set 4 by 4, then a wider outer border from a bright blue print.  The top is about 54 inches square.  I think I will give it to my sister's new grandson, though I'm not sure yet.

Little e actually laughed yesterday.  What fun!  We just walked by the cat sitting on the table, and e began to laugh.  Of course she didn't do it again.

FAQ

Some of you have asked about the weather here.  Yes, it gets much hotter than in Alameda, but I don't go out in the afternoon sun.  This morning e and I took a mile-long walk about 8:00.  It was very pleasant, and I would guess the temp was around 70 or so.  Sometimes we spend a few minutes out on the back deck in the shade, watching Oscar cavort in the yard, listening to birds, feeling the breeze.

Do I eat dinner with E and K?  Seldom with both of them.  E cooks several nights each week, making something like a pot of soup or pulled pork that will make lunch and supper for another day or two.  Last night it was a dish of enchiladas, with some chicken left over.  I ate alone while E and K played with e, then E ate while K bathed e.  Little e's bedtime ritual begins about 6, so we're not all free till nearly 8.   Tonight K has softball, so E said we're on our own for supper, leftovers, cereal, eggs, whatever.  But I always have plenty to eat.

Despite the fact that hundreds, possibly thousands, of pictures have been taken of e, you won't see any on this blog.  When Randy and I first discussed doing a blog, he reminded me of the comment from the film "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," that nothing will ever disappear again.  So I have opted not to make e's cute face public, though very few people have been given this blog address directly.  If you want to see her, let me know and I'll email you a picture, or we can get together some weekend when I'm home and you can see as many as you can stand.

Since my charge is to provide stimulation for e and to observe her closely, when she is awake I am with her.  We read, sing, play with her toys, make faces at each other (she has recently discovered her tongue), coo back and forth.  I spend a lot of time on the floor with her, either up in her room or downstairs in the living room where she has a jungle playmat.  I talk a lot, describing what I'm doing, what e is doing, and other small talk.  The past couple of days my right thumb has hurt, so I'm trying to adjust the way I pick her up.

Flying each weekend has not been too hard so far.  Some flights have been delayed, but it seems good to have that time in the airport and plane to make a transition between here and home.

One of the hardest things is leaving Randy home alone.  Sometimes he goes several days without seeing anyone since he works from home.

Finally, e is thriving.  Her physical therapist came Tuesday and after examining e said she was doing just fine.  Next week is E's four-month check-up with her pediatrician; E is eager to see how much e weighs now and how tall she is (though to me height seems less exact at this age).

Grandmotherhood

Last fall someone asked what I was thinking about becoming a grandmother.  Here is some of my response to her.

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Twenty years ago, after our final grandparent died, I realized vividly that our parents had certainly moved into that phase of life, and Randy and I were now the parents.  Now, as my dad is the last survivor of our four parents, I'm feeling the shift from parent to grandparent.  Pastor Bringman wrote a column in a recent church newsletter about getting older, how it is both a rich experience and also aggravating.  But it's part of the cycle of life.

I'm thankful E and K have decided to have a child and hope they have at least one more.  Our oldest daughter and her husband still feel they do not want children.  Our youngest is uncertain, says it will depend on her husband, whoever that may be (if she marries).  I think if none of them had children I would feel Randy and I had somehow done something wrong, that they were so unhappy or hurt or angry with our parenting that they didn't want to try it themselves.  On the other hand, perhaps it would show that they were strong, independent thinkers, not willing to have chilcren just because it was expected.

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I have three friends who have grandchildren in the Davis area, and they each have spent many hours driving back and forth, spending the night in the children's homes or bringing little ones back to the Bay Area to give parents a break.  Now that e has joined our family, I understand a little better why they do that.  Yes, it's inconvenient to be away from my own home and my friends and routine, but I believe I am making a difference in the lives of each person in this house, as well as in my own, and I am pleased to do so.  If either of my other daughters need similar help, I hope to be able to provide that.  Seeing the baby change from day to day as she learns new skills, seeing my daughter care for her child, seeing my son-in-law tenderly hold e and E, it's all good.

Easter weekend

Friday I flew home in the early afternoon in order to play for the choir at the Good Friday service, following which we went to the pastor's home for dessert.  A retired pastor, his wife, and the teaching parish student (like a student pastor) were also present, a most congenial group.  Conversation flowed back and forth.  I have worked at Trinity for 7 1/2 years now and have met many interesting people who have enriched my life.  I'm thankful Randy has also entered into these new relationships.

Saturday morning was spent at the organ practicing; there was more music than usual for Easter.  And I needed to work ahead a bit because I will not go home this coming weekend.  Since the choir has the Sunday after Easter off, I will remain here.  After lunch I cleaned house a little, did some laundry, and auditioned fabric for the two borders on the Dancing Nines quilt, then cut the chosen fabrics into the strips needed and packed them.  We made dinner, I boiled potatoes for the potato salad we were taking to Sunday dinner, we sorted tax-related papers and watched an episode of Elementary.  Or perhaps I should say Randy watched it, I dozed off and on.

Easter started bright and early.  I picked up Alice at 7:05 AM so we'd be at church ready for choir warm-up at 7:30.  Both services went smoothly, even the musical sermon Dave and I collaborated on, though I must admit the second time was better than the first.  Randy attended the early service at FPCB, then came to Trinity for the second service.  We joined several friends for a lovely dinner at Dena's then went to the airport.  My flight left late but that was OK since E, K and e were on their way home from a quick trip to LA to see one of K's aunts visiting from Ohio.  Little e traveled well, meeting many new people but also seeing familiar faces.

Thus another week begins.

Digital days

And how could I forget one of the biggest changes in caring for a baby...digital photos.  My first camera was a little Kodak when I was about 6; when I was in college I had a camera that took color pictures, and I still have those pictures of fall days with blue skies and orange and yellow leaves on the trees.  Randy's mom gave us several rolls of film when our first child was born in 1981, asking that we take lots of pictures and send her some (she lived in Illinois).  Remember what that was like?  Dealing with film speed, flash bulbs, taking the film to Long's or some other developer, waiting several days for the prints, then deciding if any of them were good enough to get reprints of, and waiting for a second time, then finally sending the pictures to a waiting grandmother.

Yesterday I wanted to take a video of e cooing and babbling, and my iPad informed me I didn't have enough memory for video.  How could that be?  Surely I haven't taken that many pictures of e...or have I?  With the advent of digital photography it is so easy to snap a bunch of shots then delete the ones that are no good.  We can email the latest view of the baby or even a video instantly to a waiting grandparent.  K likes me to send him pictures of e while he's at work, like E used to do before she returned to the office.  When it was time for E to update her phone, she opted for one with more memory rather than a larger screen because she knew she would be taking lots of pictures.

Perhaps Skype should be mentioned here, too, as a way to do video calls with a grandparent, or to see the husband left at home while I'm here.  😊

Changes

This morning I'm thinking about some differences between life with a baby some 30 years ago and a baby now.  For instance, we did have a monitor so we could hear the baby in her room upstairs but it was audio only.  K and E have a video monitor so we can see if e is kicking and waking up or just making noise as she sleeps.  We did use disposable diapers sometimes, but I don't recall their having a yellow line up the center that changes to blue if the diaper is wet.  And did we focus on tummy time? We are now encouraged to have e on her tummy an hour a day, so she can strengthen her neck muscles in preparation for sitting up and holding up her head.  While E is at work she goes into the lactation room (surely a new development) to pump three times a day.  And cleaning bottles now involves washing them, then sterilizing them in the microwave.  Baby clothes seem cuter, and there are lots of cotton knits.  Today's baby is put in her crib with nothing else, no blanket or toys or bumper pads, and she must be on her back, until she can turn herself over.  When e was discharged from the hospital last week, the nurse had to ask if E and K knew they should never shake the baby or leave her unattended near water.  I'm sure there have been other changes as well, but these are some I've noticed.  It is good to know I'm not too old to learn new skills!