No quilting...yet

So E has been on leave for a week now, meaning I have not watched e each day as I have most of the time since last July when they moved into our house.  When thinking about this shift, I had imagined I would jump on the quilting projects waiting for me.  But that hasn't happened, though yesterday I did get out a piece of batting to see if it was large enough for the quilt called "Fractured."  (If I add a ten-inch strip to one side, it will fit.). Instead, I have read, cleaned, begun sorting through saved papers/clippings, had a bone-density test, and practiced organ twice.

We interviewed two architects this week.  Each of them seemed competent, was easy to talk with, and has experience in Alameda.  One of them indicated he thought we are looking at eighteen months, maybe longer, to accomplish what we want, and his cost estimate was twice what we expected.  We would like to talk with at least one more, I think.

Retreat

For 33 years now the women of First Presbyterian Church in Berkeley have held a retreat at Asilomar, usually in January or February.  I have attended 10 times, I believe, the first time when Sarah had just turned one.  I remember feeling relaxed, no meals to plan and cook, no clean-up, no children, just women enjoying each other's company and listening to a guest speaker, walking on the beach of Monterey Bay.  One year Liz went with me; the last time I went Sarah came.  I enjoyed seeing them interact with the mothers of their old Sunday School friends.  This year I asked my friend Anita if she would go with me, and after some thought, she agreed. We drove down Friday afternoon, February 10, and returned 48 hours later, having talked for hours about our churches, our families, renovating a house, health issues, grandchildren, and more.

And we heard Laurie Polich Short speak on developing eyes of faith even when the path seems dark. I am so glad I went and that Anita and I discovered we have a lot in common.

Two year anniversary

On February 21, 2015, I wrote my first blog post.  Today's post is number 267, for an average of five posts a week.  Not bad, considering there have been a few long gaps, like the recent one of over a week.  When e was an infant learning new things daily, and sleeping a lot, choosing topics and writing seemed easy.  Then she was awake more and I was busier keeping up with her.  Now I have a break from her daily care and hope to catch up a bit.  And seeing e2 grow will provide fun topics.  I imagine I will look back at early posts to see what e was doing at one month, two months, and compare e2's growth.

And then there were four

Family time this week for E, K, e and e2.  E and K brought e2 home from the hospital and took a bit of time to settle in, then we took e home.  She seemed a bit uncertain--she wanted to see Mom and Dad, then she didn't.  Later when Randy and I started to leave, she wanted to come with us.  While she is very verbal for a two-year-old, these changes in her family and the emotions involved must be nearly impossible for her to understand, define and express.  I told E that I did not plan to come around much, if at all, this week to allow the four of them time to bond.

I had hoped to sleep in this morning, at least till 6:30, but it didn't happen.

He's here!

Thursday morning little Everett arrived safe and sound.  He and his mom are doing fine and expect to come home this afternoon.  We've twice taken e to see her brother and she seems intrigued.  I think we may have expected more of a response from her, but how can she really understand what this will mean to her life?  She's heard about the coming baby for several months, she has seen her mom's tummy grow, heard E say, "I can't pick you up right now, I'm carrying the baby," we've read books about being a big sister, but now the baby is here in her space, claiming lots of attention.  And as the family is home together, life will not be the same for her.  She has not been allowed to hold the baby yet; perhaps that would help.

I hope to catch up here with my postings.  I've taken time to jot down topics, so it's just a matter of finding time, and with E and K off work this week and watching both children I hope to have free time.  Oh, frabjous day, callou callay!

Love you forever

The other day I came across a book on e's shelf that I hadn't read before.  The title,"Love you forever," by Robert Munsch, sounded promising so e sat by me and I began reading about a mother who sang this little song to her son from his early days to adulthood.

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be.

So far, so good, though her climbing in his apartment window was slightly creepy.  Then came the day she called him to say she was tired and sick and asked him to come to her.  My eyes began to tear up.  The picture of him holding his aged mother on his lap and singing the lullaby to her, replacing "baby" with "mother" was just too much.  I had to stop reading and get a tissue.  I saw myself and my dad in this situation.

I'm going to see him soon and am afraid it may be one of the last times.

Meltdown

Today e and I walked around her neighborhood during a period when the rain had stopped.  It was good until she wanted to pick flowers from someone else's yard, and I wouldn't let her.  We kept going and finally got back to the house but there were tears and frustration on her part.  Even picking a very green lemon from the tree in her yard didn't help much.  My goal for the morning was to shop for groceries.  Eventually she agreed to help me do that, so we drove to Safeway.  Everything was fine till we were nearing the end.  I wanted to get some flowers for Randy since I'll be at the Women's Retreat this weekend.  I offered to let e choose some but she apparently didn't see any she liked.  Admittedly I might have rushed her a bit, but I chose tulips, and she took offense.  And being a two-year-old, this took the form of screaming and crying all through the checkout process and out into the rain.

I loaded the groceries into the car, but e wanted nothing to do with me, pushing me away as she said, "Go away, Grandma Starr," with the rain pouring down on us.  I'm not sure how long we stood there before I was able to pick her up and put her in the car, though I couldn't get her buckled into her seat. I sat in the seat beside her for a while as the windows steamed up and she continued to scream.  I called E who suggested telling her to take deep breaths and hold on tight to Bear, and I held the phone so e could hear her mom say that.  We drew a sad face on the window, and eventually she allowed me to buckle her in and drive to our house.

When Randy took her out of the car she seemed just fine.  After lunch and a video she went to bed and slept for 2 1/2 hours.  I don't know if she was tired, or feeling unsure about the baby due next week, or just testing me.  But I was tired to start with, and this episode didn't help.  I'm looking forward to my maternity leave!

Groundhog Day, again...and again

Last night after Randy left for choir I cleaned the kitchen while watching the start of "Groundhog Day," with Bill Murray and Andie McDowell, a film I've watched on February 2 for several years now.  I never tire of hearing the dialogue even when I know what is coming.  The premise, what if you lived the same day over and over, remembering everything you did but with no one else aware of the repeats, is thought-provoking.  After I finished the kitchen I stopped the DVD so I could practice Sunday's anthem, then vacuumed and caught up on some mail before collapsing on the couch with my knitting to finish the movie.  Randy came in near the end and agreed this is a film one can watch numerous times, which was interesting because normally he doesn't rewatch things.