Last fall someone asked what I was thinking about becoming a grandmother. Here is some of my response to her.
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Twenty years ago, after our final grandparent died, I realized vividly that our parents had certainly moved into that phase of life, and Randy and I were now the parents. Now, as my dad is the last survivor of our four parents, I'm feeling the shift from parent to grandparent. Pastor Bringman wrote a column in a recent church newsletter about getting older, how it is both a rich experience and also aggravating. But it's part of the cycle of life.
I'm thankful E and K have decided to have a child and hope they have at least one more. Our oldest daughter and her husband still feel they do not want children. Our youngest is uncertain, says it will depend on her husband, whoever that may be (if she marries). I think if none of them had children I would feel Randy and I had somehow done something wrong, that they were so unhappy or hurt or angry with our parenting that they didn't want to try it themselves. On the other hand, perhaps it would show that they were strong, independent thinkers, not willing to have chilcren just because it was expected.
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I have three friends who have grandchildren in the Davis area, and they each have spent many hours driving back and forth, spending the night in the children's homes or bringing little ones back to the Bay Area to give parents a break. Now that e has joined our family, I understand a little better why they do that. Yes, it's inconvenient to be away from my own home and my friends and routine, but I believe I am making a difference in the lives of each person in this house, as well as in my own, and I am pleased to do so. If either of my other daughters need similar help, I hope to be able to provide that. Seeing the baby change from day to day as she learns new skills, seeing my daughter care for her child, seeing my son-in-law tenderly hold e and E, it's all good.
I'm moved by your commitment to self-reflection and have been trying to do some of the same. I know that even in the midst of the normality of my current life pattern, there are things to think about. The last pages of the book I just finished, Carry On Warrior, had an image of the author sitting on her bed with God sitting beside knitting in a rocking chair. She was angry that God just kept knitting along without saying anything. God asks if the author wants her to stop knitting and talk, the author realizes God is knitting her life story (which is beautiful colors and swirls) she decides to trust God to keep knitting and she says "God, I'm going to dance. While you knit, I'm just going to dance. God looks up one last time and she says: That's all I've ever wanted you to do, Sweetheart. You dance and I'll keep knitting. It's going to be beautiful, Honey. I promise." I find myself drawn to this image a lot, a female God calmly knitting away while I do whatever I do. I especially like God calling me Sweetheart and Honey! Quite different from the white beard and the book of judgment....
ReplyDeleteYour book sounds intriguing, Linda. I'll have to look for it. While I have never pictured God as having a white beard like Santa Claus, I have certainly imagined a male figure. This makes me want to look for Scripture referring to feminine characteristics or images of God, like the verse saying he gathers us like a hen does her chicks.
ReplyDeleteYou might be interested in reading the Christian novel "The Shack" by William P. Young, where God is personified as an African-American woman.
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